Mitch Effendi (ميتش أفندي) @ mitch @piefed.mitch.science

I like coffee, Philly, Pittsburgh, Arabic language, anything on two wheels,

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I'm confident they were just looking for a reason after Colbert. Seth Meyers better use his last few weeks before he gets pinched to come up with a contingency plan, cus this is a fucking crackdown.

I expected nothing and yet I'm still let down.

This is true, what with tariffs and export controls. But, here's a little secret from someone who grew up here: there's no one acceptable cheese type. Some like American cheese (the closest you'll get outside of the US is probably semi-soft muenster or young white cheddar; 'American cheese' is just a form of buttermilk-rich mild white cheddar), some like fresh provolone, some like the trashy stuff because it forms more of a sauce that forms a better coating of fat on your tongue.

They're actually all fine. The real secret is that you only use either rib eye or chuck, chip it extremely fine (you should be able to see light through a chip), and then fry it in a steel or iron pan with white onions and a dab of a flavorless seed oil, like corn or canola. Start it over low heat, and using a flat metal flipper (NOT a spatula. Look it up. There's a difference), keep chopping that beef and onion mix until it forms thin sheets. Drop a slice (or dab) of cheese on top, and let it melt and seal the pan to steam the beef.

Then, chop it a couple more times. Place your flat flipper on the pan and let it very hot. Drop another slice or dab of cheese on it, then run it through the center of a V-split long roll. Here, our authentic rolls are yeast-risen with a tougher crust that flakes on the top layer, a bit like filoh dough. A baguette would be too firm. You want a soft roll that can be split down the longways. Then, put your chipped beef + cheese + onion mash into the roll, and bam, you're right there at 2am on South Street listening to some rich kid scream-talk about how he wants someone to date him to walk into Condom Kingdom.

Listen I'm from here, I get it, but damn just video chat me I'll teach you how to cook a good one at home for free! It's not hard!

My dad worked for a German company and he got laid off following this event. I am positive that this company is going to withdraw from the US market entirely over the next 6 months. Like, I doubt that even CEOs feel safe entering the country for official business at this point.

This one raid may have blown it for basically all foreign investment. It is so bizarre to just, like, READ it on a website, knowing that this ONE event is going to be the first domino to fall on a very dark chapter ahead. :/ I feel like I’m in the beginning credits montage of a zombie movie.

Bruh, if any of you are given an ultimatum, go to the US for work, or be fired, just quit your job. Don’t come here, PLEASE. I couldn’t believe how many Canadians I saw down at the Jersey Shore this summer. Don’t risk it, people, take a cruise for Christ’s sake.

He had blood on his ear, too

Smart! I occasionally run into Chinese tourists over here at Independence Hall (where the country was founded), and every single time I pass I am like, "good lord, you all put your lives in your hands for Philly?"

As opposed to Israel which considered Palestinians just Arab colonizers and them just the righteous people who is going back to their land so they want them either expulsed to Egypt and other countries or kill them

??? This is literally the official position of the Russian Federation — they consider Ukrainians colonizers who unjustly rebelled and stole Russian land, assets, and production. Putin does not want to assimilate Ukrainians; the intention is total extermination and replacement with ethnic Russians, and always has been.

I am not here to debate which genocide is worse, because plainly, Palestinians are suffering yawning abuses that would make even Mussolini blush. I am just saying that Palestine is not the only active genocide happening in the world right now. Ukraine can fight back; Palestine cannot. That is plainly on a different level. There's no need to imply I am an idiot just because I pay attention to other stuff happening in parts of the world that don't report in English.

Same mindset that complains about how ridiculous traffic is from the pilot's seat of a car, in traffic.

Girl, you are traffic.

Palestine is the only place where there is a war of extemination right now

Listen, I am about as active as any non-Israeli or non-Palestinian can be in anti-genocide discourse, but you're smoking crack if you think that Russia's intentions for Ukraine are to simply absorb their government and people. Russians by and by large do not believe Ukrainian culture is a thing, and in fact, have been breaking chunks off from their culture and absorbing it as their own since Moscow was founded by a couple of guys who got lost in the woods.

Russia's goal is absolute cultural annihilation, and their actions have fit the standard definition of genocide since 2022.

I have long been of the opinion that if you read newspaper headlines like a WWF announcer, it really is indiscernible.

PRO-PALESTINE ACTORS ABSOLUTELY SLAM APARTHEID CLYDE, TAKING A SIXTY FOOT PLUNGE OFF OF HELL IN A CELL AND DIRECTLY ONTO AN ANNOUNCERS' TABLE!!!!! BAWGAWD, THAT'S TRUMP'S THEME MUSIC

To quote Death Cab for Cutie, "he was a bastard in life, thus a bastard in death."

Yeah and if I had wheels, I'd be a wagon.

Man, I saw that woman make a speech in honor of her husband and it sounded exactly like me giving a book report on a book I absolutely did not read because my brother rented Final Fantasy Tactics and I needed to finish it before it went back to Blockbuster.

Justice is the foundation of peace? Which hippie socialist said that?

looks at notes

Oh. Jesus. Hm...

Nazis did not have an ideology. They were a grievance movement that utilized a common folk scapegoat (Jewish and Roma migrants) to unify the fractured German political landscape in the Weimar Republic era.

It was a populist demogogue movement that cynically and callously used terminology that was common and popular among poor working class people in order to trick them into believing that their movement was about anything other than hatred, extermination, and pilfering public coffers. The 'Socialist' part of their name was a cynical play to attract those who were active in Communist organizing in the early 1900s.

There was no collective ownership in Nazi Germany. The government owned much of everything, and the only parties that benefited from that ownership were the individual cronies that Hitler personally feted. Nazi Germany was socialist in the way that Vladimir Putin's Russian Federation is a Communist state — IN NAME ONLY.

Not all religions and cultures believe in Hell as a discrete place; it's actually a pretty uniquely Christian (okay and Zoroastrian, leave me alone) eschatological phenomenon. Most world religions really understand the afterlife as a constant for everyone, in the way that if you get on a train and leave one station, you have little choice but to go to the next station.

In the Bahá'í tradition, 'Heaven' and 'Hell' are considered poetic (or, if you're into the Monist / Dualist discourse, 'fictional elements') descriptions of the state of any one person's spirit upon arriving at the afterlife. 'Hell' is a state in the way having chronic pain is 'being in hell.'

This right here is the power of political cartoons in one example - like no other medium, it can just go right on up to it. God DAMN. Your magnum opus Lalo.

there was. but also, I mean Kirk getting shot was a school shooting in itself. he was shot on a college campus while students were there.