GraniteM @ GraniteM @lemmy.world

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116

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1,636

Joined

2 yr. ago

the unhinged oligarch has reportedly been known to send his semen to women he doesn’t even know

It's a pretty funny scene, too.

"There's not enough wine!"

"What's in there?"

"That's water, I put it there myself."

"Look again."

[Checks. It's wine.]

[Jesus delivers face above]

Will It Blend?

The answer is always "Yes."

I bought a $400 Blendtec blender a few years ago and I fucking LOVE it. Smoothies all the time. Frozen daiquiris and other mixed drinks. Occasionally use it to puree ingredients to make a broth. The only "weak" point is that the motor in it is so strong that sometimes it can try to torque itself around on the countertop, so it's a good idea to keep one hand on top while it's running. The comparison with any of the blenders I ever used before isn't even close.

Did you quietly apologize to the pork?

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yes."

"What about Zeus, Shiva, Odin, Chernobog, Ra, and all the other innumerable gods?"

"No, those are fake."

"So you're almost as atheist as I am, I just so happen to believe in one less god than you do."

Self-guided Cardassian missile that got pulled into the Delta Quadrant.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Monkey_Wrench_Gang

I got cold-called by one of those "We'll buy your house!" scam outfits one time asking if I was interested in selling my modest single-story, two bedroom / one bathroom house.

Me: Not really!

Them: Well, if you were going to, what price would you hope to get?

Me: You know what, let's say five million dollars.

Them: Uh... is this the house at [my address]?

Me: Sure is!

Them: And... five million? You're firm on that?

Me: Well, anything is negotiable, of course. I've got to go now, bye!

And I just really hope that I wasted a little bit more of their time that day, but if someone were to make a horrible paperwork error and accidentally offer me five million dollars for a house worth a fraction of that, that's really on them, I'd say.

I'm going to be honest, I used to feel that exact way, but then looking at the way the cops treated unarmed BLM protestors vs. the way they treated armed Proud Boys counter-protests made me feel... a little bit less clear about that feeling. I wouldn't call it a clear feeling one way or the other, and I'm appalled at the idea of crossfire at what ought to be a non-violent protest, but it's hard for me to take an absolutely pacifistic stance anymore.

In any given year, more than half of all gun deaths are suicides, so really it should read...

Go back inside

Shoot self

A panini press is well worth the investment.

The Many and the One

Also keep an eye out for people complaining about "globalists" and "coastal elites" because you'll find that the majority of the time, that means Jews.

Don't forget dentistry in the past!

The Dentist by Gerrit van Honthorst (c.1590–1592–1656)

Respect for... the hardworking people who list prices of tungsten alloy in dollars per gram? I'm just screwing around with a silly idea on the internet, man. Would it make you feel better if I had just invented a number off the top of my head?

A hundred and fifty thousand dollars. That's how much it would cost. I know that because my cousin works in tungsten alloy, and my brother makes headstones. No, wait, we can get it second hand, so actually it'll only cost five hundred dollars. There, now I've created an original thought, and that's much better than ballparking it with GPT.

But honestly, man, I'm just trying to hang out and have a pretty low-stakes conversation, and you come out here and you type out seven words without capitalization or punctuation, and what you said, and the way you said it... it bummed me out.

You don't like that LLMs exist. I get it. You're pissed off that they're creating an endless cascade of slop, and that they're already being used to unemploy people, and it's just going to get worse. Hell, man, I was a theatre major in college. I wanted to do Shakespeare and Ionesco and shit. But you know, it turns out that it's virtually impossible to do theatre and make enough money to live, seeing as how anyone can turn on their TV and see Olivier doing Hamlet, and if they don't like that they can turn on YouTube and rewatch the sneezing panda video for the umpteenth time, so the demand for live theatre isn't really what I thought it was when I was seventeen and I took out all those loans.

So I got a series of jobs, and now I'm getting older, and I don't do as much theatre as I wish that I could, but I'm trying. I'm trying to make the best of the hand that life dealt me. I'm trying to be a good person, and yeah, sometimes that means taking a shortcut, because I thought it would be fun to throw out some plausible numbers about the cost of tungsten. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I upset you with that.

But, man, maybe you could just take a moment to think about the fact that there's a human being on the other side of this conversation. I'm not asking for permission to just burn the entirety of human creativity down. Fuck, the idea of how technology can devalue the arts is terrifying and enraging to me, too. But if you're going to come at me over it, maybe you could try to treat me like a person, and not like an NPC that you can just lay into, you know?

So anyway, I wrote all that myself. I hope that makes you happy.

I did, I admit it. I haven't the faintest idea how much a tungsten alloy gravestone would actually cost to craft and install. I'm sorry.