This, I'm trying to be the change I want to see etc. on Kbin. But in order to fully recreate what I have on Reddit I'd have to recreate, moderate, and cough up content for like a dozen niche subs. Because of how my life is right now I don't have the energy to do one. I haven't noticed much of the toxicity, but any online space that revolves around gaming seems to turn into a toilet within a matter of days anyway, so it's sadly unsurprising.
Because with porn you're watching it, alone or with a partner, for a specific purpose. When I'm watching a regular movie I don't want to sit next to my brother or my mom and watch that. Even if I'm alone I don't want to get all hot and bothered and then it's like, do I pause for a minute and go deal with it or sit and watch a car chase like this? Just imply it and cut to the next morning or something. Only time I'm cool with it is watching with the spouse.
Being a responsible adult with ADHD means kind of doing both in a controlled way. What I mean by that is, ADHD gives you some deficits and difficulties. On the one hand, you can't use it as an excuse to not work on those difficulties and do your best. On the other hand, you also shouldn't be hard on yourself if your best sometimes doesn't measure up to other people's expectations. And for your sanity you should always give yourself breaks from working on yourself.
Tell me about it. My brain shows up at 3am with my life's blooper reel full box set on Blu-ray and a bucket of popcorn but is nowhere to be seen when it's time to remember where my other pants went.
Somewhat. I still have some of the visual images in my head, but the memory of how I felt at those times is gone or very faded. Often the memories feel, not exactly dreamlike, but like I am looking at a diorama or one of those paperweights that has a scene encased in resin, forever visible but inaccessible.
I've started to forget my dad's voice a bit and it scares me. I don't want to forget anything about him ever.
My therapist said that you don't really remember things, you just remember the last time you remembered them. Like a copy of a copy. And that's how memories get distorted over time. So it's like, am I ruining those memories by remembering them, like a tape you play over and over til you wear it out? Or should I play the tapes anyway in case I hit my head or have a stroke or something and lose a bunch of them?
I think I get what you're saying, and there was a time when I would've agreed. I spent more years than I care to admit on 4chan, years I wouldn't have spent if I didn't think there was some value to people expressing their opinions no matter what they were. But...I dunno man, it's not a ton of people, but I wouldn't call it a "very small" number of people. Also the issue I'm getting at isn't that they have a platform, it's that if you let them they will try to make every platform their platform. And if it's an organized group they will do so in an organized way that is not the same as Uncle Ted cocking off about immigrants again or whatever.
You're correct that you don't have to look at their profile, any more than you have to drink the pube punch. The issue isn't that I had to see the words of meanies. The issue is that allowing white supremacists to use your platform a) makes it look like the platform condones such things, which reflects both on the platform and the other users, which may cause the non-extremist users to leave if it gets bad enough, this tipping the balance of users more in the extremists' favor; and b) encourages people who agree with them. And the number of people who think certain people shouldn't have rights doesn't have to be very big for them to decide to organize and do something about it, including egging others on.
Also you mentioned tweets, so I should apologize for not clarifying before. When expressing concern over extremists inviting themselves, I was not thinking about Twitter so much as I was thinking about the fediverse. I'm more concerned with what people are trying to build here than with whatever it is they're doing at Twitter these days. Elon's gonna Elon and we can't control that. We can, though, choose what company we keep here.
My phone has been a lifesaver for remembering things. I grew up in the days of paper planners, so it's a real treat to be able to set up reminders etc. Prior to that I used lists and post-it notes. Post-it notes are tricky because if you use them a lot they become part of the scenery, so getting an assortment and changing to a different color note helped me to notice them.
For developing habits, instead of "do it for 30 days and it'll stick" (lmao) I try to shoot for progressively more consistency over time. So when getting back in the habit of flossing, every day was overwhelming but I could do once per week which was better than nothing. Then every other day. Now I do it daily. Does this work with everything? No but when it works it works. In other words don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Some none.
Mindfulness is not a cure-all but it is a good building block. I practiced just being present and noticing my thoughts. Noticing thoughts allowed me to start observing my train of thought to see where exactly it derails and keeps me from getting things done. If I can figure out where I'm getting distracted I can create workarounds for those. Sometimes I have to literally make a diagram of the thought pattern, like a flowchart, to see what's happening.
I also made a list of my main goals in life including the pedestrian ones like eating healthier and doing creative things, and posted a thing on my fridge to help remember to do something towards those goals every day that I feel up to it. That cuts down on the amount of time I spend in neutral gear wondering what to do with my time. If I don't know wtf else to do then at least I can do something small that will advance a life goal.
The last thing I'll say is give yourself some grace. Nobody has their shit together. Some people just fake it better. Reward yourself whenever you make progress and go out of your way to point out to yourself when you accomplished something or successfully used a cognitive tool. That voice in your head that says you're dumb and can't do anything? It's a jerk, don't listen to it. Go out of your way to rub your successes in its face.
White supremacists are like that guy nobody ever wants at their party but who always invites himself anyway. It's hard enough to keep him from washing his balls in the punch bowl when you're actively trying to keep him out. Meta doesn't even try except to the meager extent required by law.
Yup. Also applies if you're diagnosed but having to rawdog all of it because your body can't tolerate either ADHD meds or antidepressants. So you're stuck trying to kludge together solutions with behavioral, cognitive and lifestyle changes and it's like trying to build a sand castle with powdered sugar. Maybe you can make something stick together a bit, but one big sneeze and it's all gone.
And when you first get in, the water is noticeably warmer by the time it hits your feet because you're so warm. When your feet start getting the cool water, then and only then are you done.
I prefer to journal by hand, mainly because journaling on the computer feels unnatural somehow. But I can't write more than 1-2 pages before my hand cramps up.
I'd totally forgotten about this. Used to see posts about it on /x/ several years ago back when I still went there. Always wondered if it was just a couple sickos or what. Turns out it's a whole bunch of sickos. Disgusting but sadly not that surprising.
Tom Waits - Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis