You hermetically seal her nether regions with the strongest est and water tightestes tape there will ever be? That's counterproductive.
Oh, you heard of that. Or did you think catholic priests really do that for the "service to God" nonsense?
I pretend I’m a quarterback and she’s the center and call some audibles with my hands ready to receive the snap
It's a sign of a good marriage when you can both have cheeky fun!