1mo ago

Golden retriever boyfriends and ick lists: gen Z’s dating rules are making them ‘constantly disappointed’

www.theguardian.com

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1mo ago

Golden retriever boyfriends and ick lists: gen Z’s dating rules are making them ‘constantly disappointed’

www.theguardian.com /us-news/ng-interactive/2025/oct/01/gen-z-dating-rules

14 comments

It's clearly Gen Z's turn to have endless articles written about them just existing as it feels natural to them.
Millennials, we can kick up our feet. No longer are we "destroying the housing market" or whatever bullshit the rich felt like blaming on us.
"Oh no! Young people have higher standards and might end up waiting until they're more mature to start dating! Whatever shall we do?"
Read the first few paragraphs. Everything in there is fairly reasonable. Many of the things on the "ick list" are big red flags that any reasonable person should avoid.
- So very reasonable...
  doesn’t travel enough
  has no skincare routine
  is an unsuccessful DJ
  is embarrassed to do karaoke
  if he’s saving himself for marriage.
  Did we even read the same opening paragraph?
  
  Not sure we read the same paragraph cause pretty much all of these are reasonable.
  spits on the ground
  disrespectful of other people
  can’t cook
  lack of interest in self improvement, potential burden
  lies about his height
  insecure and dishonest
  identifies as apolitical
  probably a conservative
  doesn’t travel enough
  misaligned goals/lacking interest in the world around them and in other cultures
  weird about other men wearing makeup (“like, K-pop idols”)
  insecure/antiquated or traditional gender norms
  says he wants a “slightly autistic woman”
  rude
  has no skincare routine
  doesn't care about their long term health/potentially dirty
  likes songs that got famous on TikTok
  no personal interests, tastes, or introspection
  doesn’t call his parents
  this is the only one I don't really get as there are plenty of reasons not to call one's parents. I'm guessing they met someone who without a perceived excuse showed they had trouble keeping relationships with those in their life.
  sniffs every five seconds
  annoying behavior with potential to grow into spite
  is an unsuccessful DJ
  unwilling to pursue self improvement/unlikely to be able to care for themselves or others
  is embarrassed to do karaoke
  misaligned interests/insecure
  he’s saving himself for marriage
  conservative
  Most of these seem like something someone they'd met previously did which led to greater issues down the road. They don't want to deal with it again so they've identified some early warning signs to help them navigate in an analytical fashion. Besides, at least this case is operating on a "3 strike basis" so if you have a steady job and just moonlight as a failed DJ you still have a chance.
  
  I can't believe being a failed DJ made your list of unreasonable red lines.
Having standards is good, but ….
the checklist on her Notes app that she references whenever she starts seeing someone new.
Reducing the real world to a dating app? Ick
- The Notes app is where you can write notes like a journal it's not a dating app.
  
  I was comparing keeping a checklist of shallow attributes to “swipe left” on a date in real life, to a dating app.
  Trying to distill your likes down to a checklist is missing out on the reality of whether you’re compatible.
That article was so full of buzz words I found it basically illegible. However this part did tickle me a bit:
The Cut recently surveyed 100 men and found many were cutting women off for their own icks: “because she was a picky eater, she was too into Burning Man, she didn’t like the book Nickel and Dimed, she deleted his ex’s profile from his Nintendo Switch,” EJ Dickson reported.
23 year old? Yeah, I was probably this stupid as a 23 year old. This is nothing new. Fun article to read and will probably continue to amplify the idea of a male only loneliness epidemic that only seems to exist online. Young folks I meet in real life are quite normal and quirky.

14 comments