Organic personality disorder

I have pretty severe amnesia, so I don’t know who I was too well. I know I was kinda obsessed with strength. I did lots of martial arts, got into fights all the time, I was super competitive, and I was generally aggressive and mean. Afterword, I can best describe it as losing my inner fire. I hate to sound egotistical, but now I’m about as nice as I possibly could be and kinda detest the behavior that used to define me.

A good example was that I used to be known amongst my friends for being kinda mean. I would regularly get violent with them and would berate and mock them at every opportunity. After I hit my head, I couldn’t possibly bring myself to do that anymore. Within a few months of my recovery, I lost all my friends because it made them uncomfortable. I forgave everything immediately and was practically infinitely patient and understanding. I haven’t hurt anyone since.

My interests also changed entirely. I stopped sports and martial arts and joined theatre and became interested in art and human expression. I was previously pretty self absorbed focussed almost entirely on self-improvement and I’ve since become endlessly curious about other people in just about every way.

From the article, I particularly identify with the sudden onset of inhibition. I went from straight to pan and I’m now notoriously easy. I’ve done every drug I can get my hands on and if I’m offered something, I do it without hesitation. I’ve had to work through a few addictions as a result. Even still, I generally just don’t fear any consequences of my actions if things can only go poorly for me. I’m actually irresistibly drawn to things that make me nervous or afraid now too.

There’s lot more to it too, but I think this kinda makes the point. To me, the person I was died that day. I’m now a different person who started life at 16. The things I no longer have and childhood I lack sometimes makes me feel broken and less than a whole person, but I’m kinda used it. There’s nothing I can do about it now.

6 comments

Huh. I had a personality changing head injury when I was young. I never thought to look into any research on it though. I don’t know how to feel about this.
- No problem if it's too personal but I'm curious about what happened to you and the effects.
  
  I have pretty severe amnesia, so I don’t know who I was too well. I know I was kinda obsessed with strength. I did lots of martial arts, got into fights all the time, I was super competitive, and I was generally aggressive and mean. Afterword, I can best describe it as losing my inner fire. I hate to sound egotistical, but now I’m about as nice as I possibly could be and kinda detest the behavior that used to define me.
  A good example was that I used to be known amongst my friends for being kinda mean. I would regularly get violent with them and would berate and mock them at every opportunity. After I hit my head, I couldn’t possibly bring myself to do that anymore. Within a few months of my recovery, I lost all my friends because it made them uncomfortable. I forgave everything immediately and was practically infinitely patient and understanding. I haven’t hurt anyone since.
  My interests also changed entirely. I stopped sports and martial arts and joined theatre and became interested in art and human expression. I was previously pretty self absorbed focussed almost entirely on self-improvement and I’ve since become endlessly curious about other people in just about every way.
  From the article, I particularly identify with the sudden onset of inhibition. I went from straight to pan and I’m now notoriously easy. I’ve done every drug I can get my hands on and if I’m offered something, I do it without hesitation. I’ve had to work through a few addictions as a result. Even still, I generally just don’t fear any consequences of my actions if things can only go poorly for me. I’m actually irresistibly drawn to things that make me nervous or afraid now too.
  There’s lot more to it too, but I think this kinda makes the point. To me, the person I was died that day. I’m now a different person who started life at 16. The things I no longer have and childhood I lack sometimes makes me feel broken and less than a whole person, but I’m kinda used it. There’s nothing I can do about it now.
I think this is what happened to the relative I lived with. Sustained multiple TBIs from 2002-2006 and refused treatment or therapy. Became paranoid, angry and aggressive with wild mood swings. After a while they became physically abusive. I had to escape the house I grew up in and went No Contact.
I mean, they were a shitty person before, but they became even shittier after. I hope this is studied more.