4w ago

Daily

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For those of us with ADHD, if you are thinking about a task every second you're not doing it and desperately want to do the task more than anything else and are devastated that you can't do it so much that you use all your energy just on trying to make yourself do the thing that you want to do but can't, that is NOT procrastination. That is executive dysfunction. It only seems like procrastination to people who have never experienced executive dysfunction and those who have only ever experienced executive dysfunction.
Procrastination is when you fully have the ability to do something and choose not to do it but to do the thing you prefer doing instead. I hadn't experienced this until very recently, after a lot of therapy and medication.
- @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly my rule of thumb: "it's not lazy unless you enjoy it."
  
  @nycki
  That is a perfect "Laymans terms" example for executive dysfunction!
  @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
  
  This thought used to haunt my brain as well and it has the potential to kill all your joy. Regardless of difficulties, you have to be able to enjoy things in your life or eventually life itself becomes a burden which could eventually become unbearable. Doing things you enjoy is not trivial or unimportant. Enjoying things is the difference between wanting to live on this planet and wanting an express ticket into the unknown. There's a balance, but ignoring the things that make life worth living tends to make life not worth living. Please pursue your joy.
- @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
  Dani Donovan has brilliantly illustrated executive dysfunction you describe. (As it happens, this describes...most of my waking life, actually.)
  
  @cavyherd @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly so much this
  
  @cavyherd
  @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly
  I've always thought that everyone feel this. Is it really an ADHD thing? 😅
- @Kwakigra
  I started to understand executive dysfunction after I spend a night awake sitting on the couch because I was unable to get up and go to bed or just to move. All I did was watching the sun go down, the moon rising and moving across the sky through the window until it went out of my sight because I was unable to turn my head to follow it through the next window.
  (Disclaimer: It wasn't caused by my ADHD but by a heavy depressive episode due to by back then untreated ADHD and the loss of a dear friend)
  @LadyButterfly
- @Kwakigra @LadyButterfly THIS IS MY WHOLE LIFE
- @Kwakigra THIS!!
- @Kwakigra please yell this louder for people who forget it? THe funny thing is it starts out being procrasenation for me, then suddenly now because I procrastenated, the executive functioning just doesn't regarding that task. I can actively choose not to do it, but if suddenly it becomes a you must do this task, even if I had the desire to do it before, I will now instantly not want to do it. sorry this was a sort of strange reply :) #actually AUDHD
- @Kwakigra Feeling very very seen here
The bottom left box should be "now the task is bigger and scarier than before".
On the plus side, recognizing it is a disability and not just a character flaw like laziness HSS made s huge impact on my life. Recognizing the issue as something to be worked around and planned for rather than something to be pushed through has made life way better. Still don't get as much done as I should, but planning downtime and flexibility into my schedule has made it at least a little less stressful.
The issue is the absolute cascade of a metric Shit Ass Fuck Ton of things the average ADHD mind will pile on top of the simple task that is needing to be done.
Oh, you wanted to clean the house? Well, First you gotta find the tools, buy more supplies for cleaning, put the pets away, warn everyone you're cleaning, find everything you misplaced before, oh by the way the laundry needs sorted, the dishes need washed, and oh by the way we're out of dishsoap, and oh by the way we need to buy more milk eggs coffee...etc... and oh by the way since we're there we might as well just get some flash drives and oh by the way the remote needs more batteries too and oh by the way the computer needs a new antivirus license and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way .... and oh by the way ....
And. it. Never. Fucking. Ends.
Usually your brain will stack overflow after about the tenth or fifteenth "by the way" but y'know some of us have triggers as well and some of us are ASD too and so those "Oh by the way" quips our brain are making? Yeah, one way ticket to trauma or depression or anxiety or whatever else is going on. That's on top of the already fraught emotional and cognitive load of emotions the whole cascade above caused.

24 comments