I’m a little too self aware to enjoy life and a little too delusional to give up

It's good to be self aware but it's also important to be world aware. As in aware that the world is a cruel and unfair place and always has been. Despite everything if you curb your expectations you can still have enjoyable moments. It's a bitter pill to swallow but at the end of the process you gain the ability to just live in the moment, simply because you might as well. And that's not to say fighting injustice is futile. But you can only give what you have left and sometimes you need to recharge and distract yourself.