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Keying this car is a moral imperative.
Ah yes, the Categorical Imperative!
"Key only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time elude pursuement by the law." - Kant
My philosophy may be a little rusty...
it's universalizable. I'd be okay with someone keying my car if I purposely parked like an asshole, so it survives the ax murderer paradox
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