I can't code.

Across this vast Fediverse, I have encountered a trend of people answering questions with esoteric programming language speaking in tongues that I don't understand, including under my own posts. I am a Boomer when it comes to coding and I am only 27. I don't even know where I would start to learn it because programming is so diverse. I want to feel like I know what's going on but I don't. Coding is the future and the future is now and I am lagging severely behind. I guess I'm asking where a bumbling novice like me can learn more about where to start when it comes to programming.