I always hear stories of trans fems who stopped drinking post hrt and for me it's the exact opposite.

1. What you are experiencing is totally valid and nothing is wrong with feeling any of it. Generally speaking, you, and everyone else, should be in regular therapy, where you would have the opportunity to process these thoughts and emotions. It helps me so much just to have someone that can keep me away from mental pitfalls and traps that often cause most of my emotional discomfort about a thing.
2. Uhhh you already look like a girl (or woman). We are women, and so we look like women. This isnt to dismiss you, but to reframe your perspective. Personally, I don't look like the woman I want to look like, but that comes with time and will likely change to be a more awesome version than the compilation of ideas borrowed from all over. But I DO look like a woman.
3. Life isn't over until it is. Its cliche, and a bit meaningless if you let it be, but its still true. If you need some comparative outlooks on life, you will always find someone more miserable, older, and in more pain than yourself. If you met that person, would you be ok telling them "Hey, you're life is over"?

No? Thats because you're not an asshole (presumably), and its not kind... so why in the ever living fuck are you being an asshole to yourself? Sheeesh! (seriously though, chin up friend. Not cause its easy to do, but because seeing something good coming to you is impossible when you're staring at the ground)

Are you getting treatment for depression? Or alcoholism? There's medicine for both of those that can help (although it can take trial and error). Also therapy.

HRT can't help everything. I was definitely expecting too much when I started, and after a year I felt in a similar position to you. . Fortunately, I started therapy and antidepressants, and they've slowly helped. They've helped me better appreciate the changes from hrt too.

Think of it like this: testosterone is like a dog biting you. HRT is when the dog finally lets go. But you still have that wound that needs to heal. For some people, it just needs a little time to heal. Others need bandages, stitches, antibiotics, etc.

I definitely needed antidepressants and therapy on top of HRT. I'm still not quite where I'd like to be, but holy shit it's been much easier with the professional help.

And just one more thing to emphasize: there are prescription drugs that help with alcoholism. Benzos are used to manage withdrawals, if that's needed (although some people aren't comfortable taking benzos). Naltrexone lessens cravings, and isn't something like a benzo that can get you hooked

There's nothing wrong with feeling bad about the way you look. You can't be blamed for the ways you tend to perceive yourself. Although the obvious thing to say is "there is no such thing as looking like a girl", it's obvious from the context that you mean you're worrying about your looks not meeting most cultural expectations of what a woman is and/or generally not passing as a woman. Not that it's any consolation, but plenty of cis people are in the same camp there... there's not much some rando like me could say that could make you feel better, but it's always good to think that now is better than before, and the future will be better than now.

Hopelessness is the worst feeling, and I remember frequently just reading and writing and thinking on and on, all in hopes that eventually I'd stumble upon something that solved my problems and suddenly get the drive to completely turn around my life. But that wasn't how it worked. It's a tempting and addicting path to spend all your time and effort boiling alive in your own stresses, and it's hard to push yourself away from harmful coping mechanisms since they can be ways to get stress off your chest temporarily, and they can introduce a low-level comfort in the short term. Even though you're still feeling anxious the entire time and it just makes it worse in the long-run. To me it feels like when I drink tons of caffeine...

The only way I was able to eventually mostly detach myself from my stress-cycle was by cutting myself off from the mechanisms I used to dump stress on (including Reddit and Discord, and other social media/forums/boards/comment sections), to keep attempting to rationalize that the gods can take my executive functioning but they can't take my ability to obsessively write cursive variants of foreign scripts (I mean to say that I have at least a little control as long as I tell myself I do), and most importantly trying to accept that nothing will happen when I want it to happen (or even near when I want it to happen) and that the betterment I hope for, while they'll come eventually, aren't coming now or even in a week from now or even a month or year from now. And that I will not have any radical sudden change in my life whatsoever.

Saying "just stop feeling the way you feel lol" isn't very insightful, but my gist is that sometimes your goal should be to avoid focusing on the grandiose illusions of what you want for yourself, to avoid having big dreams and big expectations, and to avoid feeling that you need to constantly be changing or improving or doing something with your time/life. There are no deadlines. You just started young adulthood, you have like 10 years minimum to get around to doing the stuff you want, you're not imminently becoming a retirement home grandma or anything (although with my back sometimes I'm not so sure). Some days you can get up and focus for a bit, many days you can't. Any progress is good and there are no set-backs.

My experience relates to other aspects of myself and my life, both flexible and immutable, especially neurological disorders (mostly ADHD & Dyspraxia) and things caused by them plus inadequate parenting (I'm sure everyone on this community could tell you this, but that sort of thing is a recipe for a pretty awful self-image). I haven't experienced HRT or any significant form of gender-related treatment or anything.