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As a person who works in tech and is an early adopter for almost every new gizmo out there, I feel that we were better off back in the day when stuff was all analog and things were done manually.
Sure it was inconvenient, but it made us experience the world more and actually interacted with real people. I have crappy social skills and I have seen the change in myself over the years. I get anxious when my phone rings now, as opposed to being excited back in the day.
This makes me think of a quote by Kurt Vonnegut:
“I work at home, and if I wanted to, I could have a computer right by my bed, and I’d never have to leave it. But I use a typewriter, and afterward I mark up the pages with a pencil. Then I call up this woman named Carol out in Woodstock and say, “Are you still doing typing?” Sure she is, and her husband is trying to track bluebirds out there and not having much luck, and so we chitchat back and forth, and I say, “Okay, I’ll send you the pages.” Then I go down the steps and my wife calls, “Where are you going?” “Well,” I say, “I’m going to buy an envelope.” And she says, “You’re not a poor man. Why don’t you buy a thousand envelopes? They’ll deliver them, and you can put them in the closet.” And I say, “Hush.” So I go to this newsstand across the street where they sell magazines and lottery tickets and stationery. I have to get in line because there are people buying candy and all that sort of thing, and I talk to them. The woman behind the counter has a jewel between her eyes, and when it’s my turn, I ask her if there have been any big winners lately. I get my envelope and seal it up and go to the postal convenience center down the block at the corner of Forty-seventh Street and Second Avenue, where I’m secretly in love with the woman behind the counter. I keep absolutely poker-faced; I never let her know how I feel about her. One time I had my pocket picked in there and got to meet a cop and tell him about it. Anyway, I address the envelope to Carol in Woodstock. I stamp the envelope and mail it in a mailbox in front of the post office, and I go home. And I’ve had a hell of a good time. I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you any different.”
I really believe that part of the loneliness and lack of community many people feel nowadays can be attributed to automating everything for convenience. We miss out on these brief interactions and meaningless smalltalk, giving us less chance to practice our social skills in low-stakes situations. I see the change even in myself; in my college days I didn't really experience much social anxiety since I was always surrounded by people, but now I sometimes find a quick trip to the grocery store somewhat difficult. It's really troubling to think about, and it makes me long for the analog past.
Favorited. Thanks for the quote.
I'm working at a liquor store as a cashier right now. It isnt where I want to be in six months but it's been a joy overall. The amount of chitchat I get to engage in is voluminous and I learn a lot every day about people's lives.
We miss out on these brief interactions and meaningless smalltalk, We lost this when "smart" phones took over, people use them to shield themselves from these brief interactions and small talk.
Wow... thank you for this. This captures my feeling exactly and this is what I and many others miss from life.
I feel you and I experienced the same. I was quite social back in my college days too, even though I was still an introvert. I used to strike up conversation and small talk with people. However, now, just the thought of making eye contact with a stranger is enough for me to avoid going outside or skipping the thing/event altogether.
I mean, I can still do the small talk, but it comes with immense effort, and a bit of awkwardness. Internally I just want to run away and hide in a corner. Never used to happen before.
I also work in tech and love to buy gadgets and stuff. I've lived the majority of my adult life with a smart phone, pretty much my entire career. One thing I really wish I got to experience more of was working, dating, socializing, etc when you were very hard to get ahold of once you left the house. You'd have a phone at work, a phone at home, you'd check your messages and read the mail. Beyond that, you would be on your own when you were out in the world and not at the beck and call of anyone who who can contact you via one of hundreds of ways on a smartphone.