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The thing I'm wondering though is where is the line drawn? If we say: let's catch up, make a time and you forget, who's job here is it to be understanding? I understand that things do happen, for anyone, and that's life, but if it's repeated it's not like calendars don't exist.
Genuinely curious as to where people think the line should roughly be when being understanding to those with diagnosed ADHD, who ask for extra understanding.
This understanding of ADHD is literally based on memes, so please don't hate on me too much. Open to learn!
I know this was 3 weeks ago, but I can assure you the guilt we feel when we fuck up is horrific. The point isn't to make excuses, but know that we might need a little more help and patience. A call/text the day (hour..?) before. Send a calendar invite to us, instead of hoping we do it for ourselves. If you care about someone, little things like that go a long way.
Like any disability, or really anyone, we have to understand our limitations. For instance, "asking" me to be a note taker in a meeting is an immediate no. That is a limitation I have and something that can be accommodated. Record the meeting or have someone else do it.
The main problem is we are a bottle of carbonated shiny glitter. Shake us up too much and that part of your brain that can interject before we do something stupid is gone. There goes any emotional control or rational thought. Don't shake us at all and we will be looking for dopamine source after dopamine source, for better or worse. With enough pressure, we can function good enough. Most of the time...
To give another personal description of what it can be like. Imagine yourself in a loud restaurant full of people. You can hear what each person says, every clink, the music, the AC, footsteps, all of it. That part of your brain that can filter out the noise and allow you to hear the person talking to you at your table? Gone. Every sound. Every sensation. They all have almost equal priority in your brain and you can't make it go away to just one.
All of us are all over the spectrum of executive dysfunction. I am too tired to give this anymore thought right now, but best thing is to not expect us to magically be better, recognize a meltdown and walk away, and give us awesome problems we can solve! I like fixing things. Hyper focusing on things that matter makes me feel good, especially if it had a real positive impact.
This makes me hopeful, I just started a new job and I'm killing it, but I know it won't be long before the excitement dies and the ADHD boogeyman comes rearing his ugly head.