So essentially I want to buy one pan, I don't want to care about what utensils I use in it (metal, plastic, or wood), or what I cook in it, and I want to clean it easily by just putting some soap on it, using the rough side of a sponge and drying it off and tossing it back in the cupboard.
Ideally, I'd also like this pan to last longer than 2-3 years.
So overall I am thinking I want enameled cast iron because it seems like it could take all of that but then I recently read how you don't want to cook something like eggs or fish in it because they'll stick.
The other bit I've seen is just buying a coated non-stick pan of any sort but be prepared to throw them away in 1-3 years and don't use anything metal in them.
Should I just buy enameled cast iron and cook whatever I want in it? Should I buy multiple types and cook different things in them? Should I just stick with non-stick?
Overall, I am a very novice cooker who simply cooks for a family of 4. Typically using something like everyplate. I'm not looking for fancy but I am looking for "buy it once then use it until I die with low maintenance." I essentially want the Toyota Camry of cookware. Reliable, low maintenance, not going to win any cooking contests.
To me, the obvious answer is stainless steel. There are cheap ones and expensive ones, and everything in between. The more expensive ones tend to be constructed with more even surfaces, with better heat transfer (things like an aluminum or copper core), and more durable to regular or even careless use. But even the cheap ones are great.
Stainless advantages over traditional Teflon-based nonstick:
Metal utensils and scrubbers don't damage it, which means you can use thinner spatulas and scrub more aggressively, or do things like whisk in the pan (helpful for making sauces or gravies)
No need to worry about maximum temperature (Teflon reacts poorly to high temperatures, degrading quickly and off-gassing fumes that are mildly harmful to humans but deadly toxic for birds)
Oven-safe (if the handle is oven safe), which is good for certain recipes that are easier to just transfer to the oven (certain sauces or braises)
Much better thermal conductivity, for faster temperature response to turning the heat up or down.
Stainless advantages over ceramic non-stick:
Metal utensils and scrubbers OK (ceramic nonstick is more resistant to scratches than traditional nonstick, but the guides still all tell you not to use metal)
Can withstand higher temperatures (ceramic nonstick isn't as bad as traditional nonstick at high temperatures, but it still loses nonstick properties under high heat, over time).
More likely to be oven-safe (some ceramic nonstick is oven safe, but you'd have to look and check, and still be mindful of temperature limits)
Better thermal conductivity
Stainless advantages over cast iron:
Better thermal conductivity (cast iron actually sucks at this but nobody seems to acknowledge it)
Easier care, no need to season
Can handle acids no problem, so things like slow cooking a tomato sauce or deglazing with wine/vinegar/juice are possible without weird dark discoloration in your food.
Much lighter in weight, so much easier to use when transferring or pouring food, washing the pan, etc.
Stainless advantages over carbon steel (including carbon steel woks):
Easier care, no need to season
Can handle acids
Don't get me wrong: I literally own every single type of cookware listed here, and I cook on all of them for different purposes. But the stainless is my workhorse, the default I use on weeknights, because it's easy and mindless and I literally can't mess it up.
EDIT: Wow, can't believe I forgot to actually list the disadvantages of stainless. Main disadvantages:
Not non-stick. When things stick, it can be a huge pain in the ass, ranging from making your food ugly to actually ruining a dish (for example, if the sticking causes you to destroy the structural integrity of the thing you're cooking, or the the stuck food starts scorching and adding bitter burnt flavors to your food).
A little bit more effort to clean in typical situations, and a lot more effort to clean when there's food residue stuck to the pan.
Better thermal conductivity (cast iron actually sucks at this but nobody seems to acknowledge it)
One of the main selling points of cast iron is the fact that it has low thermal conductivity - it takes a while to get hot, but then it stays hot for longer. This is an advantage for some types of cooking and is why I only use my cast iron for specific things.
Fwiw, I agree that if you only have one pan, don't make that pan cast iron - it's good at what it does but it's not as versatile as a stainless steel pan for most things.