What have you witnessed or seen that would sound like a conspiracy theory if someone else told you?

I personally think it's more about manufacturing an 'other' to blame everything on and unite people in hate.

There's little benefit to targeting women for oppression in the modern economy - they're just more undifferentiated labour to be exploited (though it remains possible to pay them less). I think this was meaningfully different when living off a single income was a realistic proposition.

I think it has to do with the fact that they can't run on "make abortions illegal" anymore so now they have turned to "lgbt bad"

There's no single unified group of "people in charge in the U.S.". There are various people with varying amounts of power. Some of them are religious nutters who interpret their religion as saying that anything other than traditional gender roles is satanic. Some of them are opportunists who see religious nutters as useful idiots, they rile them up over transgender issues in order to get their support for other things (i.e. tax cuts / loopholes for special interests, etc.). Some of them are somewhat liberal, but are still uncomfortable with transgender people and see their political opponents using transgender issues to rile up their base while they do really destructive things (tax cuts / loopholes for special interests, etc.), so they focus their efforts not on defending transgender people, but in trying to attack what they see as the real issues. A small minority of "people in charge in the U.S." are transgender, or very concerned with transgender issues, and are doing everything they can to fight for transgender rights.

Don't forget that the majority of the "people in charge in the U.S." are over 60 years old, and so even basic gay rights are a major departure from the world they were raised in.

And they're doing startlingly well in their attempts...

Remember that democracy is not something done to you. It is something you do.