I use lemm.ee because the big lib instances have not defederated it (.world, beehaw) and they still federate with hexbear (I also like slrpnk.net and they defederated from hexbear as well).
Ditto Odo. I like having the agency to choose to block / ingnore users or instances I dislike. I understand some people may not be in a headspace where they are able to ignore vitriolic / harmful posts or opinions and some people simply don't want to have to block every other post and just enjoy their space.
.ee seemed to tick all the boxes at the time while being large / established enough to not fly by night.
There are other instances out there, who just simply don't take political stances. I specifically chose one ran by oldschool internet heads. AFAIK we've not defederated with anyone, and the userbase would revolt if admins did without very, very good reason.
I can only speak for myself, but I never see them in my All. Likely because I just block and move on when something I deem genuinely misanthropic pops up.
EDIT: I also have NSFW turned off, not sure if that also would be a factor.
At the very least, if there's the potential that our instance is unwittingly persisting illegal content or even hyperlinks to it, then I can't disagree with you.