There's truly only one choice
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Is this some sort of DnD joke I'm too Pathfinder to understand?
No, this works in Pathfinder too. There is a very obvious meta and people follow it.
Fair enough! What's the Pathfinder 3rd tier spell everybody chooses? :D
Haste, Slow, and Dispel Magic are mandatory. If you are playing in a heroic fantasy campaign, Fireball and Fly are also essentially mandatory. Otherwise, Tongues is the popular pick.
Ahem. FEAR 3
Real