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Reddit is so toxic

There are a few subreddits I check out from time to time because Lemmy doesn’t have the volume of users required to keep those niche conversations active.

Wow, what a pain! There’s so much hostility and byzantine rules. It’s just not worth it.

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  • There’s so much hostility

    Same here, to be honest. Except for Beehaw, every other place seems like a no-mod/no-remember-the-human land.

    • Fwiw, my own experience changed dramatically after I blocked lemmygrad.ml and hexbear.net. Some people also block lemmy.ml but I like the memes so I do not go that far - yet when people do come back with the most inane shit replies, it is >90% from there.

      The Fediverse does require curation to be halfway usable, but the fact that nice places exist here at all makes it very different from Reddit imho. That takes effort to maintain, and while mods may not always be perfect, consider the kind of person that would remain as a mod on Reddit after the protests... overworked, entirely unappreciated, and having to deal with the most childish people. When old-reddit gets further shut down (as it seems to have started to people say, e.g. when accessed via a VPN) it will degrade even further. The scabs will run the show, even more so than now. Just like happened with X.

      Ofc, do as you please, but I hope this perspective helps:-).

      • Your first paragraph is spot on for me. I also haven't blocked lemmy.ml yet, but I'm this fucking close man. Personally, I hope that lemmy grows, grows more diverse, and the politically toxic side of lemmy gets diluted a bit.

        • It is what it is. The original founding developer is a tankie, and offered everything he did entirely for free. Meanwhile after Reddit began to collapse there were several projects - like squabbles and discuit - who offered to let people come onto their instance but refused to offer their code as open source, presumably with the intention of using the standard approach to first disrupt the market and then later make a bunch of money (also used to lure in fish, set out the bait and then reel it in).

          The closest one to Lemmy was Kbin, but that has its own whole entire set of drama, being open source but not sharing the development process with anyone else and then the singular founding developer being extremely slow to add new features or take things further or even maintain the existing instance in the meantime (there is the Mbin fork, but if Lemmy is early beta or late alpha stage software, Kbin/Mbin is still early alpha, plus Kbin repeatedly goes down for days to a week at a time).

          Meanwhile, most people who just enjoy being "taken care of" by daddy spez remained on Reddit, which from a technical perspective (of like server uptime and whatnot) does objectively offer a better experience. At least until old-reddit is killed off, though in the meantime they seem to allow it due to their increasingly dire need for content creators.

          So anyway I am saying that politics is very much entertwined with the entire existence of this place. People chasing profits have other Reddit alternatives that they turned to, so we are the odd ones who enjoy "sharing" (i.e. in the socialist sense) and are willing to put up with the significantly higher technical barrier to entry and greater share of problems, in order to preserve our freedoms and help set something up that has a hope of lasting in the future, as corporations enshittify themselves all around us.

          But yeah, I want to ditch the toxicity side of it as well:-). Except I cannot change others, only myself, hence why I just block those and move on with my life, and let them do the same.

      • Some people also block lemmy.ml but I like the memes so I do not go that far

        I've reported so many "memes" from there that aren't anything close to a meme. They're just hyper hostile political propaganda.

        • How much of that is due to it being one of the larger servers though? As well as one of the oldest. I don't know that much about it - there's the origin story but unlike searching for info about e.g. lemmy.world, I cannot readily find things about lemmy.ml like where it is located geographically. The closest description I've seen is here that only says "Server looks to be located in France". But who knows if that is true?

          Anyway, you get to know the servers on Lemmy after awhile - like I've rarely if ever had an issue with anyone at all from mander.xyz, but then lemmy.world is a mixed bag (that one b/c it's so big), and lemmy.ml is decidedly lopsided. But it is not the only place that has trolls. Perhaps I will block it one day, but I did not want to take that extreme step without giving them as much of a chance as I could.

          Which I did for both lemmygrad.ml and hexbear.net as well - and ultimately decided that it was better for the sake of my sanity to block them than to leave Lemmy altogether (fortunately v.0.19 came out just then and made it possible and easy:-).

          So now I want to tell people that they can DRAMATICALLY improve their experience on the Fediverse, just by blocking those 2-3 servers, in case it helps salvage their experience of it as well.

          • Hexbear and Lemmygrad got bans from me almost immediately (after a couple of days) because it was obvious that all of their content is extremist. Lemmy.ml has a pretty good mix, but their memes community specifically has a ton of propaganda. I haven't noticed any of their other communities being reliably propaganda. I actually started out on Lemmy.ml. I heard they are leftist and I was like "oh, I'm a leftist too. I'll go there". But then after being there for a while I was like "uh... Maybe I'm not quite the leftist I thought I was".

            • I would actually prefer to be exposed to multiple POVs wherever possible, if it were delivered in a respectful manner. Likewise I enjoy learning more about various religions, and cultures, and all manner of things. However, I must draw the line against trolling behaviors. So for me, it is not just that they contain "content that I may not agree with", but that they outright encourage behaviors that have driven me and so many others away.

              I got my start on Kbin.social, before it repeatedly kept going down for a week at a stretch, multiple times, and they had already defederated from those places, so fortunately I got to be exposed to the friendlier side of the Fediverse first, so I knew what was possible. But then after switching to try a couple of Lemmy instances, I gave serious thought to leaving the Fediverse entirely. There is so much else that I could do with my time, you know!? Read books, watch videos (like Hank & John Greene's Crash Course series on YouTube), go outside and touch grass - I don't need to be arguing with the emotional equivalent of toddlers online, acting as the recipient for their emo-venting aka vomiting all over me rather than having true conversations aka "communication".

              That said, I might understand what you mean about the memes - if they violate the community rules then they are being disrespectful to the recipients who would have to spend time reading them, rather than enjoyable content. And if there is enough spamming of such, it inches closer to "trolling" behaviors, as in the same kind even if not quite degree. Though oftentimes people from that server also engage in actual trolling as well, in the form of responses that do not care about how the recipient would like to receive.

              Anyway, I left Reddit over that shit, and I would leave the Fediverse too if it came down to it, though fortunately it works to just block those 2-3 places and the rest becomes a MUCH better place to play around in!:-)

              • I think it goes beyond trolling, I think it is astroturfing. A lot of it seems too on the nose to just be some rando cranking out messages on his phone. But like you said, the rest of the fediverse is pretty okay.

                I also like being exposed to alternative viewpoints, but it's hard to find viewpoints online that aren't extremist these days. Everything is so tribalistic that ideologies seem to become parodies of themselves.

                I miss the authentic conversations that used to be common on forums, then Facebook, then early Reddit. You don't find them very often on any of the remaining sites. But we're kind of having one here, so I guess it still happens, just not as often.

                • Astroturfing: Maybe... but also, we don't need to ascribe to malice what is explainable with just flat, sheer stupidity. Though it could be that too.

                  Between the two though, the latter is far more damaging imho. That gets perfectly illustrated in every zombie movie ever where the giant horde of zombies lies outside awaiting to devour everyone inside of a safe space, and inevitably someone who is just literally that dumb tells themselves "but surely they won't eat my face off!?", and proceeds to open the door, which promptly gets everyone inside killed, often while they are literally sleeping & thus absolutely defenseless, b/c they trusted the guards to protect them and thus let down their guard to rest.

                  The "other", the "enemy", can only do so much to harm us. It is when the call comes from inside the house that the real danger begins. Like, if you wanted to destroy something large - a nation, a religion, a movement - the best way is not to go at it with a gun, but to join it instead, and subvert it from the inside. Look at e.g. Google that "helped" the development of Android, or how people are releasing genetically-modified mosquitos to help combat malaria. So if e.g. Russia wanted to bring down e.g. the USA, it could... oh, I dunno, let's say send over Fox News, then wait a few decades for that bomb to go off. It would be quite effective. Not only would it disable American interference in Russia's agenda - e.g. as it conquers other nations such as Ukraine but also does many other activities e.g. in the Middle East - but that process could at best even convert your former foe into an actual, full-on ally. Even on purely theoretical grounds, what could possibly be more beneficial for your side than to not merely deny resources to your enemy but to actively increase your own capabilities? There are a LOT of advantages to having a friend, perhaps second only to e.g. doubling your own power (and even that only from the perspective that people such as Putin seem to ascribe to, whereas many people who think differently would actively prefer the opposite as in the former over the latter).

                  Russia is known for funding the extremes on both sides of hot-button issues. By making every movement into a grotesque version of itself, they foment division, and regardless of what those particular issues are (abortion, LBGTQIA+ rights, guns, who even cares), that division is the real point. For example, although this one is just me guessing, who came up with that name to "defund the police"?!? Democrats were talking about increasing funding, and listening to the very people who know the most about the situation - the police officers themselves - who unequivocally state that they feel unprepared to go in and handle the "mental health" types of scenarios. That is by far what gets the majority of police killed - like as you turn to arrest the husband that was beating the wife & kids, suddenly the wife is stabbing you from behind to defend him, even when she was the one who made the call in the first place. That shit is traumatic AF, and those officers that survive such a scenario most often quit. So how did the liberal movement to help police suddenly get twisted into sounding & even doing the polar opposite of that? And using statistics that are the exact opposite of true - e.g. Trump gained support among police by going around telling them the "feels like" statement that >90% of murders are due to interracial crime... except the true statistic is <9% iirc (specifically white-black at the time was I believe 3-6%).

                  For the anti-vax scenario, and this one I'm not guessing on b/c we've literally traced this propaganda back to Russian troll farms, they similarly warped the agenda not from "the vaccine is new and relatively untested, b/c of the unprecedented speed with which it was developed" but all the way over to "the vaccine is dangerous and if you truly cared about people you should even prevent them from taking it even if they desperately want it for themselves (e.g. by violently destroying the batches)". How is that about "their" rights to not take a potentially "dangerous" substance, when they are actively preventing others from making that choice for themselves?

                  So anyway, yeah, even liberal propaganda can be as bad as conservative - even if Republican politicians are acting far more dangerously than Democrat ones i.e. obstructionism. I can never find this quote anymore, but at one point around the time when the pandemic status was being officially ended in the USA (despite how the WHO says that it is still on-going), someone (I thought it was the FDA Director, or something along those lines?) said that "the greatest killer in the USA today is stupidity". Heart attacks from the way people eat, car crashes from the way we drive, soon we can perhaps add planes falling from the sky, obviously all the easily-preventable diseases where people barge into hospitals (sometimes, heart-breakingly, waving actual guns at the staff) demanding cures for despite having passed all the possibilities for such in the past by refusing to prevent it even knowing that no cure for it exists once the condition is entered into, and ofc we will soon need to start adding the effects of climate change e.g. heat exhaustion, and ofc already we can add senior abuse aka "excess deaths" during the pandemic that somehow "wasn't real".

                  Anyway, I kinda went off the deep end there didn't I? :-P At the end, all we can do is our best, as we try to move forward.

                  Oh, and yeah, I used to try to have these kinds of conversations, but long before I left Reddit I had already long ceased that. There is only so much complaining at "walls of werds" you can hear before you realize that what you are offering is not being received, thus obviously the only friendly thing to do was to stop. I too would have GREAT discussions even on Facebook - I don't know if I ever convinced anyone of anything, but even so it was wonderful to hear from e.g. a conservative who was an actual social worker and so who had the potential to inform me better than my more theoretical analysis of a subject (although my point in turn there was that stats do not lie, as in a few counter-examples do not mean that a trend in the opposite direction does not exist). Those kinds of discussions in full friendliness and mutual respect, regardless of the outcome, are part of the spice of life for me, and may I just say "fuck Reddit" once again for having spoiled them by enshittifying their platform, e.g. by turning away (and in some cases actively booting) the mods - which started to happen long before Rexit by continually ignoring the mods asks to allow even already-existing moderation tools, b/c it was not in line with their profit model:-(.

                  So, you can respond to any or all or none of this, in any timeframe, but in any case I do hope it was somewhat interesting:-).

                  • Heh, yes you did go off the deep end a little. I agree with everything you said.

                    We do have an impact, even though we don't often hear about it. I was fortunate enough that someone actually messaged me back in 2016 and thanked me "for opening their eyes about trump". That was really satisfying, because up until that point I felt like I was just shouting into a void. But people are listening, even when they don't take the time to tell you they are. Of course for every one person that is actually affected, 30 of them aren't. But reaching even one person is better than not reaching any.

                    You're right about leftist messaging being targeted by propaganda too. Some of it is from Russia, but a lot of it is from the right-wing. They take a message and twist it to the extreme so that it turns off people who would have otherwise supported it. What's most frustrating is that a lot of gullible people actually agree with the extreme version, and now you have people supporting what was an intentionally ridiculous idea. I've even seen my friends fall for this.

                    I think what makes discussion so difficult online now is the sheer volume of it, and the expansiveness of subjects to be discussed. It becomes overwhelming and then people just completely tune out, which of course was the troll farm's purpose all along.

                    • Omg I agree with all of that so hard, as well.

                      The purpose of the conspiracy theories being less "here, believe this one thing" and more "somewhere, somehow, there is corruption in the government" (uh... duh?), and then promising to go in and fix it, which I guess gets taken at face value b/c the person "looks like" the message recipient, in some manners that count?

                      But also, Trump never did "win", so much as Clinton "lost". And then later Biden did not "win" so much as Trump "lost". Before that, Romney lost, before that McCain, and on and on it goes. So all the conservatives have to do to make Trump palatable - that guy who "Christians" like despite how he barges into little girls dressing rooms while they are changing, and talks about grabbing women by the actual irl genitals - is to make Biden seem worse.

                      Which both Biden, by virtue of doing things in a boring manner, and the news media, by chasing after what bleeds & therefore leads, are cooperating along with to make happen. I dunno, I really hope they can pull it together in the next several months - the clock is ticking, and this time the literal planet Earth may be on the line (not only WWIII, but also climate change seems to have suddenly jumped towards us by something like ~100 years quicker than we expected - btw I entirely made that number up, but that Arctic temperature spike of 38.9°C/70°F in a single day does lend such a "feels like" statement some credibility doesn't it!?).

                      Meanwhile, people are gullible as hell - but since we know that, why aren't we doing anything about it? Then again, I'm not smart enough to know what things might possibly work in that regard:-D.

                  • Defund the police was never a Democrat thing, and it's the watered down version of Abolish the police. The left in America is extraparlimentary so while we may vote Democrat they don't really represent us

                    • That is so true - we lost our democracy long ago, having been replaced by a plutocracy, and now people like Elon Musk want to enshrine that even more directly.

                      The oddest part, in my mind, is that the founding fathers warned us about exactly this, saying that it was the greatest threat to the fledgling nation - so it is not like this took us by surprise. They said that when there are no barriers to citizenship, the masses who can be most easily swayed will get swept up by the wealthy who have the ability to buy their votes.

                      But we still fell into this trap regardless, having been warned, their/our eyes watching it happen the whole time, but apparently unable - or rather unwilling - to do anything about it. Just like Trump's legal troubles: the system is set up to protect people like him, so now it works to his benefit yet despite everyone seeing how broken it is, nothing can - or rather will - be done about the situation.

                      It would be so nice to have real choices to pick from. Conservatives deserve that, liberals deserve that, the 80% of people who are in the middle deserve that... but we will not merely be handed that, we would have to make it happen (except we cannot, or rather - once more - will not).

            • “Centre-left” or “left of centre” are viable political position that may better describe your views. They tend to be a bit more “individualistic” (possibly the wrong choice of word) than full-fat socialism can be.

    • The list of people, communities, and instances I have blocked on Lemmy is like 20x longer than what I had blocked on Reddit. And every day new accounts and communities pop up that get added to the list. At this point the only reason I don't go back to Reddit is out of principle. Because Lemmy, for as good of an idea as it is, is like a cesspool for people who believe politics/social politics is a personality trait. And Reddit was becoming that way too, but maybe its different now considering Lemmy is like a sponge for those kind of folk.

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