Is it normal that I feel pretty bad for ignoring homeless people begging for help? How do others ignore them without feeling bad?
Is it normal that I feel pretty bad for ignoring homeless people begging for help? How do others ignore them without feeling bad?
I want to give them money but since my childhood my parents pretty much told me that they are all either faking it or are too lazy to go to work for money. I mean, I guess they can go to work but not everyone gets accepted to work as easy as it sounds like.
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One compromise I use is to give them food instead of money. I usually carry with me one of those mashed fruit packets (usually marketed for kids to take to school) in case I get hungry and if I come across someone asking for money I just give them that. Or ask them if they want something from the nearby convenience store/cafe/vending machine. That removes the argument of "they'll just use it for drugs" that I hear and honestly believe is true to some people. Addiction is hard. Everyone has to eat, it's always useful to get them food (especially if it's non perishable)
I've seen some cafés where you can give extra money for a coffee or a snack to be given to a homeless person when they ask for it. It's pretty nice and it rounds up the bill!
I'm sure you'd love some stale snack someone has been carrying around in their bag for weeks on end waiting for the person giving it to you to find someone desperate enough.. Or to have someone walk you in to a store at their convenience_ while they glow with pride for helping you, and you, like a child have to humbly pick something you may not even want or like just to make them feel better..
Homeless people are humans who deserve respect and agency, if you have it, just give them the fucking money
The type of fruit I was talking about does not get stale at all. It's completely sealed until it's opened to eat. I eat them all the time myself, why can't they? I let them choose what they want when I offer to buy something for them. IMO if that's the way I'm confortable giving it's better than nothing at all, and someone that's confortable giving them money can if they want. Not to mention that I very rarely carry cash anymore
Don’t take this person’s criticisms too hard. They posted a lot of strongly opinionated comments on this thread.
For whatever reason they’re being antagonistic mostly to people on this thread like you who clearly do care, at least enough to not do literally nothing. Not sure if that’s some sort of strategy, or bad social skills , or potentially just trolling.
I think what you’re doing is fine - it’s something I’ve done a couple times.
Thank you for your kind words of understanding. I think gatekeeping acts of kindness will result in less people doing them. Even if the person I gave the fruit to doesn't like it or can't eat it for some reason it's still kindness from a stranger and being treated respectfully for a change. It's still better than the people who just ignore them and walk away.