There was a national alert that was sent out over cell phones a couple months back and a lot of Amish people that had phones were ousted to their community because their phones went off even though they're on silent so they were kicked out.
The guy who lived across the street from me when I was a kid lived on a decommissioned farm and was a bit of an arborist, among other things. Apparently he had some kind of ornamental tree that was valuable. One night the fucking Yakuza busted through his back gate, cut down his tree, and stole it.
At least that's how he tells it. Some shady Asian looking dudes had approached him about the tree earlier and he'd told them to get lost. They may not have actually been the Yakuza, but the story sounds much better if they were.
I live near Amish country, and they won't come out for one smallish tree. They will give a discount for quality wood, but they won't do it completely free. Lumber isn't that expensive around here.