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Covid probably saved my life.
I got bullied for about 5-6 years in school which ultimatively led to me just wanting to kill myself. Luckily for me the lockdown came so I got freed from the nightmare called school. My will to live devinetively improved, when not getting bullied the whole time you are sitting in class. However, when being in the lockdown I devinetively didnt process my feelings and thoughts about how I wanted to end myself. This led to me having almost a fill scale emotional breakdown mid class when school started, since we have been reading a play where someone killed himself and therefore learned stuff about the whole topic of suicide/mental health. Suddenly you realise, that all this shit kind of sounds very familiar for you which was quite overwhelming, but you can't let anyone see whats happening because that shit devinetively is going to get you bullied again. I never talked to a therapist about this and at this point it isn't needed, since I just went on and processed that time of my life for myself. I also kind of realised some time ago, that I also never told my family about this, but it isn't really relevant anymore and us just going to cause feelings of guilt in them for not acting.
Therapy might still be a good idea in the future, trauma can show up in quite unexpected forms.
I'm really glad you're doing better!
Seconding this. I thought I was fine once I made it through college without therapy. Ha! All the shit I'd just bottled up for years was still sitting there, packed nicely in its little bottle, waiting to explode.
Ended up going through a couple years worth of therapy in my late 20s / early 30s
I also have mental health problems, not as bad as what you describe here, though.
I used to find myself stuck at home spending my time staring at the wall because I just can't leave the house. Having lockdowns during covid made me feel normal for a change. I was just like everyone else, stuck at home.
I'm glad you're better now, but like the other commenter said: This trauma can come back in unexpected ways and it'd be a good idea to prepare yourself for when that happens.
Just to make this clear. I have completely dealt with all the shit I went through during that time and I have completely processed everything. I have accepted it as a part of my history and I Am completely fine with it. Theres nothing left to talk about in order to learn something about myself that I dont already know. I seriously dont see a single point where this is ever going to cause any problems in my future life.