What was the biggest pill you've had to swallow about your own self or habits?
What was the biggest pill you've had to swallow about your own self or habits?
I'll go first...after 10 years of speculating in the market (read: gambling in high risk assets) I realized I shouldn't ever touch a brokerage account in my lifetime. A monkey would have made better choices than I did. Greed has altered the course of life many times over. I am at an age where I may recover from my actions over the decades, but it has taken its toll. I am frugal and have a good head on me, but having such impulsivity in financial instruments was not how I envisioned my adulthood. Its a bitter pill to swallow, since money is livelihood of my family, but I need to "invest" all I have into relationships, meaningful moments, and fulfilling hobbies.
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The biggest pill was that I am not intelligent. I was just studious and invested enough time to pass exams. People not doing what they should do is not them being stupid but me not grasping the full picture.
The second biggest pill that I am still swallowing is that I am not a good person. I try to behave in a good way, but it's manipulative and not authentic. People don't like goodness if it doesn't come from the heart.
People don’t like goodness if it doesn’t come from the heart.
I'm curious if you mean in an abstract way, of if you've done nice-seeming things for people only for them to call you out on whatever ulterior motives.
Cool that you're way at the end of the willing-to-face-facts bell curve, though.
The biggest pill was that I am not intelligent.
The fact that you're even saying this implies that you're more intelligent than so many people.
Knowing the limits of your own understanding is a big part of intelligence imo
Top shelf introspection here.
Re being a good person I wouldn't sweat your mirror neurons over it too much. I suspect that if most people did the kind of self-analysis you've done, they would find similar, ulterior drives.
Anyway, so while I've long since shelved the fantasy of "true altruism" I have noticed that I'm more likely to behave nicely if I can set myself up for success by doing things like eating enough, working out, avoiding running late, etc. In a very real way I am a nicer person when I'm, for example, not running late.
I do this because behaving nicely is important to my self image, and leads to a more pleasant feeling life.
It's something.
You sound like a very interesting person if I may say so (: Love me some folks who were brave enough to have faced these gigantic pillbottles.
Don't they?? I'm instantly charmed.