In all seriousness, my dad was a mechanic, and he’d buy HF air impact guns instead of Mac or Matco or Snap-On. The nice ones cost four to six times as much, and needed to be serviced about every 18 months, during which time he was down a gun.
So he’d buy two or three HF guns, use one till it broke in six months, switch to another, replenish stock at his convenience.
I would probably buy a replica pope whacker, the U.S. congressional mace if virally advertised, or even a golden shovel, engraved with a jaunty nihilistic saying, like “Digging my own grave!”
I got a golden shovel for Christmas 2017. I was (am) obsessed with twin peaks and my wife made one for me like from the show (the comeback season or whatever). Because I have to dig myself out of the shit.