I worked in tech (past tense, doing marketing) for quite a number of years. I didn't do the technical stuff, but I did interact with the techies and I also spoke with the women techies.
My experience is that most techies are "my folk". (I like geeks because geeks show passion in the things they do, without regard for lame and pathetic things like accruing afterlife points—some call these "money"—and strutting around like peacocks. With "pea" serving double duty there.) Some are socially awkward and need guidance, but most are OK.
But there's always the really bad ones. The ones who got into the field because of the money and purported prestige. The ones we call "techbros" nowadays. Those are a completely different bag and you need to draw lines quickly and vehemently with them. And then redraw them constantly because those assholes do not take "no" for an answer and have no clue what "consent" actually means. (Summoning another post that you'll recognize: they're the "Hans" types.)
Managers in tech are almost all male and almost all absolute shit as managers, however, because they tend to be elevated techbros who think that the technical skills they have make them smart enough to do any job without formal study or training – and they're wrong. They perform really stupid basic management errors (like thinking everybody is motivated by cash) and wind up turning places into Hell holes. It's why I quit my marketing career in tech: not because of the socially clumsy nerds but because of the horrific predatory and incompetent techbros.
The best way to understand them truly is understanding why they love tech. Tech bros are essentially tech themed finance bros, they love stocks and monetizing tech but they dont care about the technology (examples: NFT bros, crypto bros, etc). Meanwhile technology enthusiasts are acturally enthusiastic about the technology. Not all of them do tech work but most have a hobby in either hardware and/or software tinkering (for example software customization for aesthetic and/or practical purposes, 3d printing, custom circuits, or general hardware modification). I fall into the tech enthusiast category because I love computers (especially thinkpads) and I love Linux :3
Conclusion: if you want to see if someone truly cares about technology ask them what they think about the AGPL/GPLv3 (open source licenses that makes software harder to monetize)
Fucking hell that was insightful thanks for sharing. It shows how bad certain fields can get, and what kind of things happen. Sounds like you handled it great... I know what you mean about drawing a line quickly and HARD. Then repeatedly drawing that fucking line!
I've often found the saying "people don't quit jobs they quit managers" true. They make or break an office for you. My bff works in tech and she's found exactly the same thing with managers... she's had one that was sort of OK and 4 truly abysmal ones. Was there much bullying in the field?