That's the thing, you'll have to de Google your entire life, which is really involved and tedious , especially if you want free alternatives. Not saying it's impossible, but you're talking about ditching a lot of services. Realistically, there aren't good alternatives to YouTube and some other services. I know people will try to pitch fediverse alternatives. While promising, the problem is that the historical content that is really useful just isn't there. Additionally, it fails in comparison in terms the amount of content offered. It sucks to see Google bend the knee so easily.
I think most paid email providers also include calendar, contacts, etc. I know Proton does, but I also know their CEO is praising the 4th Reich, so I dunno.
Filtering spam is a long solved problem and completely trivial. I receive no spam on my self hosted email, and I spend no time at all working on that.
My old unused gmail account however.... I recently logged in after more than a year. The spam folder had about 40 emails in it, and the inbox had more than 8000, all of which were spam. Google over self hosting is not a solution to spam.