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It's always a gamble
One place will have "ultimate spicy ghost pepper death sauce, you will literally die" and it's mild as fuck
And then you go to the local Thai place down the road, and the 3/5 star heat level will absolutely kick your ass
Thai places don't fuck around with spice.
I had a Thai roommate with a 2-3 years old daughter. At one point I went to the kitchen to prepare my dinner and she was there cooking and snaking some vegetables with her daughter.
It was bird eyes chili peppers! They were eating then like I would eat carrots, I tried the tiniest bit of it, had my mouth burning and we all had a good laugh about it.
The scale at mine goes mild, hot, Mexican hot, Thai medium, Thai hot.
No kidding, I like to think I am pretty tolerant of spice for someone whose parents can’t handle too much pepper. Like I make my own butter chicken with two Serrano peppers. But most Thai places I get level 1 spicy and eat slowly or I can’t taste anything but fire.
I used to go to a Thai place whose 5/5 was listed as “for Thai natives and people with no pain receptors only”. 2/5 was more than enough fir me.
To get the good stuff, you have to go with someone that speaks Thai.
I did they correctly assessed I couldnt handle 5/5.
the real problem for me with the 5/5 wasn't that I couldn't handle the spice. The spice was amazing, and actually added to the flavor, unlike many. What was the issue was how long it took to eat it because you have to manage how much you have in your mouth so it doesn't overwhelm you. Luckily my buddy wasn't closely watched for his 'hour long' lunch break.