What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

I take two personal pizzas and cook them normally. I generally use the frozen ones from Costco and use one cheese and one pepperoni. I also have frozen hamburger patties from Kroger but they're the thin ones. I'm trying to lose weight, after all, so there's got to be sacrifices made. OK now I have those frozen rectangular hash browns like McDonald's sells, but mine are from Kroger again. I can generally cook all four items at once in my air fryer which is more of a convection toaster oven kind of deal. Anyway before I ramble on too long, I assemble a "hamburger" using the pizzas as buns and the rest is obvious. Apply mayo and/or American cheese or whatever like that Korean paste they use. Yum. I like to cut mine in half.

Those thin patties are great! This all started because I was tucking a folded one inside a Hot Pocket. You just split open one side and it becomes a literal hot pocket. Do not stick your ... oh never mind