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how badly could a pelican fuck me up in a fight?

DISCLAIMER - I am not planning on fighting a pelican.

there's a brown pelican that hangs out on the railing of a very narrow portion of a boardwalk nearby. the only reason it makes me nervous is because it's huge, but their nails look short, and their beaks are pointed, but curved downwards so they would have to try to bite me with that long thing instead of pecking me.

like, if a bird capable of clawing or eating my eyes out attacked my face, I'd honestly have no qualms about killing it immediately. but if I ever get attacked by a pelican, it looks like I could just kind of hold it off without having to hurt it. am I right in that?

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  • Can you please write a review on Google or something? I would love to know how you would rate the Pelican's performance in your upcoming battle.

    • does the pelican have a business where i can leave such a review?

      • Maybe that one?

        Edit: They promise this on their website : "We deliver award-winning customer service by empowering our people to recognise the needs of our customers".

103 comments