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New crush, new chapter!

'Tis I, BoyTrouble. I decided to turn over a new leaf and now I'm NewChapter.

My relationship with "Michael" didn't work out, but I have a new crush "Kieran".

I won't say much, but Kieran and I actually met at a therapy reunion sort of thing where every person within my age group who went to that therapy group at one point came together and we said our "final goodbyes" (unless we went back. I really hope that in the future, Kieran and I go and end up going to the same therapy.

Anyway, while I was still dating Michael, I met Kieran and sort of had a crush on him (though not "love", we just met). He doesn't text much, but when he did today, I asked him if he wanted to hang out some time next month since I was busy all throughout this month, and he said he would love to hang out!!!!!!!

Yay!!!!!!!

I barely think about Michael anymore but the hurt is still there. I'm happy, though, and I'm gonna make my posts all about me, my friends, life, and Kieran now.

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OK so um... "gay" panic!??!

So, I (18X [possibly genderfluid/masc enby]) posted about liking a guy, I'll call him Kieran to avoid confusion (19M) while in a relationship with "Michael" (24M). Michael and I broke up recently and I've been talking a bit to Kieran. I asked if he wanted to hang out sometime and I know we just could be friends but he said he would love to and I'm panicking!!

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We broke up already, so why does it hurt this much?

Why did it hurt when he said he didn't want to talk to me?

The way he moved on so quickly and said he felt nothing for me immediately after I stopped doing as much stuff for him.

The way he was always on-and-off, like "I love you". Then "we should break up".

The way he would sometimes feel nothing for me even in the relationship.

He suddenly didn't like me anymore. He wasn't focused on a mutual, loving relationship, but more on what I could give him and do for him. He was always happy when I comforted him like I was his parent. Always happy when I did stuff for him, like make gifts, buy gifts, etc. But not once did he try to help me or do anything for me, not even like my interests or watch my movies when I did, like he said he would! Then, he suddenly didn't like me and we broke it off.

Now, his bio says "A owns me", but when I ask him about it, he says that it's "some dumb quote he found".

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I'm ignoring him

He was more focused on what I could provide and do for him than having an actual, loving relationship that went both ways. I have enough worth and I surely don't deserve that. Played with me, strung me along, didn't want me yet still kept me around?? My friends all say that's messed up, I should listen to the advice and just ignore him like I'm doing. people are right. He is not my friend, I'm just his pet to keep around when it's convenient.

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I want to be there for him but I can't take it

My ex-boyfriend has been struggling with depression lately, and I want to be there for him as a friend, but he refuses to try to help himself, says I can't help, and thinks he's worthless and all.

I can tell him he's not, and comfort him, but I know he'll just not believe me and thank me for saying something nice to him. He's always depressed and I can't do anything to help and that makes me sad.

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My experience is real to me.
  • Thanks so much, you too. I plan to move to Europe in the near future, IDK how long. But yeah, I was outright told that if I actually saw a professional, they would tell me I didn't have my conditions and that I was self-diagnosing and that it might just take a while for me to listen. I was actually diagnosed with everything by a professional, though.

  • My experience is real to me.

    Don't try to tell me what I go through isn't real.

    Don't try to tell me I'm lying.

    Don't try to tell me I'm "schizo" or whatever.

    Don't tell me I don't really have a mental illness I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH.

    You don't know me, how would you even know whether or not my experiences were real.

    I'm currently in therapy with medical professionals, so I am indeed seeking help and working on myself, but to say I didn't go through it when you didn't know me is something else.

    (I can't and probably won't say much as it's more of a general rant, plus you can DM for more info but only if you're not gonna be judgemental.)

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    Too Afraid To Ask @lemmy.ml BoyTrouble @lemmings.world
    Do women wish they had male characteristics?

    Hi, I identify as a gay man for now and I feel disconnected from womanhood, but my body is female. I want to know how normal it is for women not to be comfortable in their own bodies and wish they had bodily characteristics of a born male. I've felt that way ever since I was eight or seven, so it got me thinking that I could have known I was a boy even then.

    I wanted to cut my hair short because it looked more boyish and I hated being called "girly". I wanted to be accepted among the guys and I considered myself just a "tomboy".

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    I am now single like a Pringle!

    I decided to just stay friends with him after everything: his mental health plus him not caring enough about what I like and saying stuff about how my interests sucked, wanting me to do stuff for him (buy/make gifts, watch his shows) but would never do that for me, etc. so now I’m a single Pringle boi!

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    Can you give me some encouragement? Deciding to stay friends with my BF but don’t want to make him cry

    I decided it would be better if we stayed friends, though I would still support and help him. Maybe if he starts liking my interests and becomes more mentally well, we could date again but for now IDK.

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    How to continue the relationship with a hot-and-cold depressed person without being dragged down too?
  • Thank you. He says nothing will help his depression, first he needs to leave his abusive dad.

    He's usually like "I'll do it later" or "I never liked that show, it's stupid because I'm older than you." I'll try seeing how he is later on or find someone else.

  • How to continue the relationship with a hot-and-cold depressed person without being dragged down too?

    It makes me (18m) really sad when my bf (24m) is depressed. Sometimes he runs hot and cold and says he doesn't know if we should break up or not but then he says it feels right to be with me and he wants to stay.

    Sometimes he doesn't like doing stuff for me even when I do stuff for him or doesn't like my interests much but wants me to like his. However, he can't do much of anything or talk right now because he's very depressed.

    He's not like himself, and it's sort of making me feel depressed. How can I help without making myself extremely depressed too? I feel like I understand why he stopped doing certain stuff, and he says he can't show love for me like he could for his exes. He said it felt right to be my bf but that he didn't know if we should date.

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    Update: I found out why my boyfriend's acting this way, IDK what to do

    Okay, so I found out that my boyfriend went from loving to indecisive and seemingly distant. I feel bad, though, because it turns out that while he says he wants me and he can handle a relationship, he's actually badly depressed to the point where he can't do much and can't talk to me much. He is always doing bad and extremely upset and low.

    He says he can't say why he's upset, but that's okay

    2
    Ugh... so I'm starting to develop feelings for someone and I have a BF.

    I hate this. So I (18FtM) have a BF (24M) and he has been showing me less affection and not really taking an interest in my things or what I want to do. He doesn't really like my interests but it's okay, we've been getting along. Sometimes, he doesn't even know if he wants to be with me, but it's okay.

    Meanwhile, I just met this guy (19M) earlier today and we're really hitting it off, although we just met. I'm starting to like him and IDK what to do because I like my boyfriend too and probably like him more.

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    I feel like such a bad boyfriend

    Yesterday, my boyfriend was very stressed and was going through a lot of family issues. I told him I couldn't stay for long. My family is strict and wanted me to go to bed and not be on my phone. My boyfriend then was asking where I was and why I was offline and not responding. He must not have seen my message but I had to go. And I feel so bad that he didn't read it and that I had to go, I feel like such an awful person for not being able to help. I know I suck, I know I just could've snuck it, but I just want someone to listen. Not criticism, please, like many people have said.

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    My BF says he doesn't know whether he wants to date me or not.

    I made a throwaway so as not to clutter my main. I'm a bit sad but he doesn't want me to feel bad. He keeps me so he's not lonely, but he doesn't know whether or not he wants to break up and just strings me along, I guess. "I love you" one minute, "let's break up" the next. My mom says I'm being played, IDK.

    I don't even know what we are because he keeps trying to walk out of the conversation and he doesn't care about my interests or what I want. I've tried talking to him, he says it's the way he is. Also, he gives me words of affirmation but apparently my brain says that's not enough. I don't know anymore. Just venting, ugh.

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    InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)TH
    BoyTrouble @lemmings.world

    Throwaway to talk about relationship and gender struggles.

    Posts 15
    Comments 25