Twelve Coffee Day

Damn, maybe consider a reusable cup?

After his 13th cup he will get a meeting invite from his manager and HR to share some news with him. Prioritize your health and your family folks. No one gives a shit how hard you worked, you are just another worker bee making some filthy rich fucks richer

In 20 years the only people who will remember you worked late will be your kids.
Your job posting will be up before your obituary.
- I like that the amount of pleasure he provided them with dropped sharply after his death. The opposite would have been troubling..
That's nice. My HR recommends improving health by doing yoga at home and making a better personal spending plan.
- Not a raise though. Just figure out how to spend less.
- Work hard enough to not get fired
  but not so hard that it affects your health or your life
We get paid overtime 🤷‍♂️

At 14 cups, he starts phasing out of our reality at the quantum level

He’s about to enter Hyper-Hyper-Time

Regardless of whether or not they're from the same day and what caffeine does: that's so much waste! If you drink at the same place, get a fucking reusable cup! Cutting down on this nonsense would do so much more than damn paper straws. It's not even hard. Drinking out of a nice cup is more enjoyable too. I really hate when I forgot my thermos or a store refuses to fill it

There are 2 reusable McDonald's cups right there
- Do you think its these? McDonald’s and Loop join forces on reusable coffee cup pilot
  Interesting concept, i hope its gone well.

There was a dangerous point in my bartending career...
I worked at a fancy restaurant, and they bought a super fancy (like $35k) automatic espresso machine, that ground the beans to order and everything, with a touch screen.
I accidentally discovered that, if I got a little grease on my finger before telling it to make me a double shot, after it poured one, it would think my finger was still on the button, and immediately start pouring another.
So I would make a pint of espresso each evening for espresso martini, and then a quart for myself.
- Wait, how's that different from just making yourself 2 double shots?
Pro tip: if that's also your reaction every time you see a coworker looking tired, saying so might not be a boon to your continued employment 🤔
- Equating "looking tired" with "has had 12 coffees and a soda that also has caffeine in it" is wild.

that's like 6 peepee trips minimum

It’s not the peepee that gets you, it’s the loosey-deucey that follows.

Brain: It is what it is.
Heart: But not for long.

Do you work for Cloudflare by chance?

Just know the recommend intake of caffeine is sub 400mg a day.

I have tripled that on a drive home from my corner Starbucks before. Fun fact: the servers might be “legally required” to warn you of your poor health choices before they hand you your drink.
Weak shit
I take up to 2 grams a day. I could easily take a nap for hours if all I had was 400mg of caffeine.
- I used to be the same way, especially when working late shift at work.
  Obviously its your choice, but backing down my tolerance so 200mg has an affect has greatly improved my energy levels, sleep, and some GI issues. I'd recommend you do the same if given the opportunity.

You sure they're all from the same day?

The fact that some of the cups are different makes me think that is unlikely.

And a regular Coke to take the edge off, I guess?

The regular Coke is for a bit of sugar for nutrition
The irregular coke is to take the edge off

Heart problems incoming

Damn😂 Most I’ve gone for is 3 cups

Their poor body...

Just fine here. I'm more interested if they had a panic attack and left work early yet.

I used to abuse caffiene / coffee to an extreme. I had an espresso machine at home, and another in my office, and there were MANY days where was drinking more than 32 oz of espresso in a day. Most of my gastrointestinal issues can be directly attributed to this behavior. I don't suggest this to anyone.

That being said, I still can enjoy cold brew, and my morning ritual is a big tumbler with 1 cup cold brew , 1 cup water, 1 cup oat milk, and ice. That gets me through most days. I also do break it up where i switch to tea for extended periods.

This guy poops

I start having headaches, and shaking after 4.

When you hit that wall you just power through and get your second wind.
It's because you've started vibrating, but you're not yet at healthy idle revs, like a Datsun 120Y just started on a cold morning. Another 2 coffees and you'll be purring just right. 6 more and would actually have conscious control over the vibrational energy of the electrons in your body, and you'll be able to phase right through solid objects, like plate glass, if you run fast enough.

I bet it reeks of undiagnosed ADHD in there.

Must be Frank Drebin Jr

Surely you can't be serious

Looks exactly like whatever random anonymous “hoteling” office I might occupy on a given day. Corporate America sucks.

I was going to day that's the same dock and keyboard I've been using this week.

Dear god my heart hurts looking at this.

This is how you get spitters in left for dead

I would be awake for two weeks straight from that

You are going to get coffee balls if you keep this up.

I know I'm going to regret asking, but what are "coffee balls"?
- Your balls become coffeed.

@xylogx I love your keyboard. I have the same. For 18 years now. If i die i want to be buried with it. Like an ancient warrior. And if your employer allows: Get one of these tiny espresso machines, the take up less space than the cups 😜

Just looking at that image makes me want to go pee on his behalf

Do you not have a coffee machine in your office? Not even considering the money, I'd be annoyed having to repeatedly run out to the café 😅

That cafe run is a break from whatever misery requires so much caffeine.

..... and this guy doesn't even work here

That’s nothing — I made a stack of empty Yorkshire Tea boxes that extended from my desk to the ceiling.

Are we sure this isn't Stan the Java Man from mad TV? https://youtu.be/YJn5MrBy1A0

I switched to Chicory because I do the same :) Just a regular ceramic cup that I reuse though.