challenge

for those who need to hear this, you can fix/adjust automatic door closers with just a screwdriver. Google a tutorial and go nuts at your job fixing all your minor inconveniences!!

Are you stupid?! I make 1 billion an hour repairing door hinges! What kind of fool takes this kind of "deal"

Scam! Release the door hinge files!

Yes. I can spend those two hours watching door hinge repair videos on YouTube, I was going to do that anyway.

Spend 2 hours watching door hinge repair videos followed by buying a new house since you have 500m.
- A new house! Just think of all the new doors with hinges that need adjusting.
Sure you were. And then you were finally going to get around to fixing them, right!? Just take your precious money.
All jokes aside your youtube recommendations for the next 3.4 years will include door hinges.

As long as I can break door hinges for those 2 hours, I'm good.

This is how those onlyfans promo account posts read. "Would you (obese gamer virgin) fuck me (fit nude model) however you want if I begged you for it enough????"

And then the comments like "yes baby I'd love to 😋😍😉"

I fucking hate this whole dynamic.
"If you could do anything with me in a hotel room, what would you do?"
- Scrabble

On a serious note, if you have a striped screw hole on a door hinge, put some tooth picks in the hole, snap off the bit that sticks out, and put the screw back in. I’ve fixed so many doors this way.

Does it matter what direction the stripes run on the screw? :)
To add to this, a stripped screw into concrete or brick can be fixed with the same method but using a small piece of copper wire the length of the screw.
- Unfortunately I don’t know enough about screws to tell if this is a joke
You don’t need wood glue? Just the toothpicks?
- I’ve gotten many loose screws tight with just toothpicks, no glue.
- Wood glue and toothpicks, without the glue the toothpicks would get pulled out.
- You are better with some plastic, but any flexible material will do. Glue will only make you life harder.

Plot twist, you're teleported in a room that will be set on fire if a switch isn't pressed within 2 hours and broken door hinge blocks you from pressing it

Every broken doorhinge can be bypassed in two ways. Fix it. Or break it more.

What rhymes with orange?

No it doesn't.
"Sporange" does. If you're especially bad at pronouncing words, many other things also rhyme with orange, like flange, range, and monkey.
- Porridge, horseridge, the entire first act of Hamlet, LaBron James' telephone number in Spanish,
Doorhinge
Drake and Josh reference, nice.

WTF is this on about?

You can pretend, you can lie to yourself and us - your friends - but your door hinge repair addiction is becoming a problem.
So we've pooled some of our resources together to try to help you...

"Name 10 things that aren't Jackie Chan!"

Uuuuhhh… Laptop, horse, Jackie Chan — Damn!
A piece of paper with number "1" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "2" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "3" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "4" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "5" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "6" written on it.
A piece of paper with number "7" written on it.
A piece of paper with "Jackie Chan" written on it.
...
Damn it, I was so close
Football. Lamp. Pizza. Floor. Tree. Car. Jackie Chan. Billboard. Hot air balloon. Hydroelectric dam.
- ah fuck

I would simply use $250 million to buy replacement door hinges for the ones I can't fix during that time. Easy peasy.

You all are misinterpetting this. If in the rest of your life you spend 2 hours or more fixing door hinges the 500 million is revoked and if you're in the negative now they take your organs to make up for the deficit.

If I had half a billion dollars I can promise you I would be spending zero seconds of the rest of my life screwing in door hinges.
- I can imagine the genie thinking “Bwahaha I tricked you!” and then getting increasingly frustrated that I never fix a door hinge again even though I didn’t notice the trick wording.
- If I had that money I could finally pursue my passion of fixing door hinges.

I just honestly don't think I could. They say money can't buy happiness and it sure as hell can't buy a properly self installed and adjusted door hinge.

I work for a door company, that's going to be super difficult

They'll probably fire you. What will you do without a job!?!
Take a day off, or like, just quit instead.
- Some of us have bills to pay.
- A day off? In this economy?
ever heard of free time?
- what's that?

And how do I explain my income to federal agencies?

Pretty sure there's no IRS anymore. Just give Trump some gold-plated turd and you get a no taxes season pass.
- Ah yes, everyone on the internet is American
As long as you pay taxes on it, IRS ain't snitching.
I conveniently own a laundromat and several other cash only businesses.
It fell off a truck.

Like, I am not allowed to or I just physically can't?

what am unhinged proposition

Two metric hours or two imperial hours?

Light hours.
- In that case I would do it. Heavy hours would be a different story

define "fix"

Like with all the exes!

Pro tip:

If the holes in the door frame are wallowed out, jam some pieces of toothpick in there first, then put the hinge on and screw it in.

What's the ruling on paying someone to fix a door hinge? Knowing my luck it's when the bathroom and front door comes off.

Replace your 'door' hinges with 'cabinet' or 'industrial maritime' hinges and your semantic loophole is set.

Smoke a few joints and make a garden bed.

I would buy a tent and a pickup truck. Then I'll set up a tent in the back of the pickup truck. And I'm going to have a house on wheels without door hinges because tents don't have door hinges. Crazy enough?

This doesn't need repairing, this is perfect how it is now

Do I still get to grease squeaky hinges? If so, maybe a deal.

God no omg

At first, I thought that I actually need to fix any door with hinges for exactly 2 hours and for the challenge would be given a very complicated dozen hinged door and was OK with it, but then, well... I realized that this challenge is impossible.

What's this meme about?

We are in that age, huh