I hope the screen was locked
I hope the screen was locked
45 comments
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I... I really hate to be that guy, but... "phasers".
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Insufficient data. Please provide additional samples of each scenario.
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I hope the screen was locked
looks down at the screen
“YOU HAVE ENTERED YOUR PASSWORD INCORRECTLY TOO MANY TIMES. CONTACT TECHNICAL SUPPORT.”
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This incident will be reported
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You have incorrectly entered your password too many times. This station is locked for 137 hours.
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One would hope that stupid fashion of touch screens on dangerous vehicles stops before the 24th century...
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Unrelated anecdote:
Years ago I had a cheap Blackberry lookalike phone. It had a button lock feature to prevent butt dialing, but some bright spark decided that the lock wouldn't apply to the '9' and '1' keys, presumably so that a user could dial 9-1-1 even if too panicked to unlock the keypad. Which just meant that it was really easy to butt dial 9-1-1...
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Had something similar, except that the code on the phone to dial 911 with the keys locked was #08. Keys were so sensitive I couldn't keep my phone in my pocket, had to live in my bag or it'd be dialling emergency services.
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Don’t worry, the ship is into it.
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It may be the Enterprise-D, but it's more into the A
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Reminds me of this video:
"Star Trek TNG - Will Riker Destroys the Enterprise-D"
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Naw. Actually he died in that one so... okay so don't hate me, but he must be in a time loop scenario here!
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They use their asses for identification.
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By sniffing them like dogs? That's hot
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M'ress and T'ana might disagree.
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Prodigy is a kids show but it still counts as canon, and there are a couple scenes of ass phasering going on.
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Were just going to ignore that Bryce Dallas Howard is just there, apparently immortal or something?
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Actually, that's Patricia Tallman. I went to highschool with her son.
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It was a joke dude. Dear lord
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Far more likely there is nothing in front of the ship and riker knows his ass is about to fire some consequence free lasers. He derives great pleasure from the reaction or lack of reaction of the crew on the bridge as he continues to chat about unrelated things
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If you fire a weapon in space, someone is going to have a bad day. It just might be thousands or millions of years in the future, light-years away.
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"Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space!"
-Some Gunnery Sgt.
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My bum is on the console, my bum is on the console. Look at me my bum is on the console.
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I'll be surprised if we don't have assprint unlock by then
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“Today, Apple is announcing assID.”
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They do have a product to place the sensor on.
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i’m sure if we have palm rejection worked out in tablets, ass cheek rejection is absolutely future table-screen tech
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As long as the controls are prehensile penis compatible it's all good.
45 comments
That works until the first species joins Star Fleet that types with their butts.
There was a TNG episode that established that controls would only respond to authorized inputs, presumably from whatever limbs, organs, or phalanges any crewmember might typically use for such purposes.
They meet an alien species who controls all their electronics and touch sensitive systems using a single long appendage attached to their groin.
There's the episode in VOY where Tuvok loses his memories and when he's touring his station on the bridge accidentally activates a photon torpedo.
The Asstralians: Everything about them is upside down.
Upside down and ass-backwards