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One tire is low: check engine light.
Glove box open: check engine light.
A leaf is in the hood: check engine light.
Cold outside: check engine light.
Hot outside: check engine light.
Tachyon Field Distortion: check engine light.
For real though... At one point my dash light kept flickering all at once for no apparent reason at seemingly random times. No one could figure out why it was doing that or even recreate it. Then one day, my dad and I did an overhaul on the breaks. Pulled everything out, cleaned off any rust, replaced cable covers, new calipers, disks, break pads, the works! And lo and behold... The flickering never returned. We still don't know how something related to the breaks was causing the entire dash to light up. But at least it's fixed...? Jeeps are weird.
I just had one where my Audi was showing -- in sequence -- ESP [traction control] failure, parking brake failure, tire pressure monitoring system failure. The cause?
The fucking MAF cable. I forgot to plug it back in after changing the air filter.
Your grounds were probably so rusted out that your brake lines were being used as the ground.
Is this some joke I'm Volkswagen enough to fucking HATE?